drkclstl27's Xanga

Who's still here?

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 02:19:10 GMT

Sound off!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 06:00:50 GMT

Lonely Inches by the one man act from Portland, Oregon, Guilt Parade.

Words can't express how much I love this song, except how I feel like it caresses my dream node while simultaneously tugging out a small noodle of the material to wrap around my heart and lightly squeeze it.

I've been thinking weirdly lately. But remember, the above song is an awesome, lovely, candid, soulful little tune that's on par with Thirteen and (much better than) Hey There Delilah.

So...

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 05:47:25 GMT

Yeah. So, over the summer, I had finally found a break from the usual cycle of STRESS-boredom-STRESS-boredom-glimmer of fun, yay, wai--STRESS-boredom.

This past summer it was boredom-boredom-boredom-EXISTENTIAL MELTDOWN. And then school resumed so it's STRESS-SLEEPY HAZE OF ERRANDS, HW AND EXISTENTIAL MELTDOWN-sleeep-STRESS-SLEEPY HAZE OF STUFF-sleep....

So yeah... Becoming more and more aware of this world thru the years and stripping away all these thousands of layers of BS and distractions and myopic, useless concerns has left me realizing how finite and pointless life is. I feel like I know too much. Like I'm too fluid and hollow and I'll never know what I want because I want everything (well, most things) and have no self but that doesn't matter anyways cuz I don't have much going for me anyways. Everything is just out of reach.

So what is there? Bunnies of course. Bunnies and drugs and every experience and achievement and the hope that I'll live comfortably and not toil away my precious years of this life. I'm incoherent. I'm off to bed now.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Sat, 24 May 2008 03:53:00 GMT

WTF... The speakers to the computer were turned off for some reason, so I flipped their switch... and at that moment, the monitor briefly shut down but came back again. But then my internet was down. I'd been surfing the web right before I turned the speakers back on, yet I looked around and found that the power strip that the router was connected had its switch in the off position. How the hell did that happen? So I turned it back on and now I have the internet again, but AIM can't connect to the server...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tue, 20 May 2008 05:46:39 GMT

Wow, that has been the latest I've ever taken the metra. I missed the 10:35 to Fox Lake so I had to wait for the 12:25... A crazy person sat to my left, and a drummer for a few past metal bands sat to my right. He was cool, and so on and stuff...

When my mom picked me up, "Hey There Delilah" was on the radio (the (rereleased?) version with strings). Jeez, that song is so old for a song popular on the radio. I think it was old when I first heard it back in Sophomore year of HS. How I first heard it is a weird story... Back when Myspace was a thriving social network and stuff people posted on threads in the GBS network page (which was moderated by Ed Mandel who was only there for like a semester and then moved, WTF, that scene kid). Anyways... this one guy posted something along the lines of "I have no friends at my lunch period (code for "at all"), anyone here wanna be my friend?"

He got flamed pretty quick... But every so often I'd click through to his profile and just look around... I don't know why, and I never made contact with him (wait, maybe I flamed him too, I can't remember). But his profile (or one of his friend's profiles) had a music player where you can choose from a few set playlists of popular songs... Very illegal, yet not cool cuz you couldn't personalize the playlists at all. Anyways I thought the guy was a total tool for having this, yet the first song I heard just blew me away... It was "Hey There Delilah", and I couldn't help but just play replay over and over for that song... I downloaded it quickly on Limewire, and.... yeah. I love that song, although saying that means nothing these days cuz everybody loves it. Hey, you're as much of an Indie elitist as I am.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 08:59:46 GMT

Our final in my poetry class involves writing a poem in the voice of an assigned poet. Mine was Jane Kenyon. This is my poem after I fixed the line breaks with what my classmates told me in workshop.

Grandmother

White chrysanthemums on the floor.
Our afternoon farewell to your crabapple lemonade
and thick pipe smoke. We brush away
your neighbors and start packing up your house.

Your dog paws at the tossed stems outside,
as night approaches. I empty the vase to water your red-edged dracaena,
and hide your portrait in a drawer. The single yellow bulb meets the night.

I can’t sleep because of the dust.
Sweeping the floors, I find your buttons,
and your apple seeds, and your E-string hair.
And it all goes outside, over the dust pan I’m holding,
and underneath your crabapple tree.

The bare limbs have shed their leaves.
But red fruit still weighs them down. I pluck
a single apple to cup in my hands.
And it accompanies me
as I watch the light bulb
blend into the day.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 08:38:36 GMT

So yeah...

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 06:19:30 GMT

School's been tough this week, and all the protest-related stuff that I've been working on doesn't exactly help. But I'm not complaining.

The risks and the effort that this protest entails pale in comparison to the threat that Scientology poses to the world every single day that it stands unopposed- I guess that this simple fact was what made it such an easy decision for me to dive right into this mess. I have many problems with Anonymous. Many of their actions are immature and represent the putrid underbelly of the internet. But when these guys realized what they had stumbled upon and then used the publicity of their DDOS attacks to organize the upcoming global protests against CoS, I just had to jump aboard. Sunday, when Anonymous and its sympathizers will demand accountability for CoS's criminal actions, the world's apathy towards a dangerous cult will turn to indignation. And CoS's lawyers and PR will not be able to silence anyone this time, as they have with their critics countless times before.

If everyone follows the guidelines listed on the party van wiki, the law will be on our side and everyone should be safe from harm. I just hope that no one gets harassed by a Scientologist to the point of losing their cool, that we will be able to successfully keep ourselves apart from enemy provacateurs, and that the police will serve their duty in protecting the rights of the protesters.

To the visitors from Belgium, D of C, Singapore, and California...

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 05:37:17 GMT

SHOW YOURSELVES!!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 06:33:54 GMT

塊魂...

Lately I've been really short of breath, and so I looked up the symptom on WebMD, and it immediately told me "Seek a physician immediately". Freaked out but still wondering what I have, I entered a few more details and found out that what I prolly have is a pneumothorax, which is an air pocket outside the lungs that makes it hard to breathe (collapsed lung). If I do have a pneumothorax, it's non-tension, which is the non-life threatening kind (otherwise I'd be dead by now).

If it's small enough, it'll go away on it's own, which is good because I don't have any money to get a chest X-ray to find out for sure whether or not I do have a pneumothorax and have a doctor just observe because all that a doctor can do is give me oxygen and get my parents to pay hundreds of dollars for a 15-minute visit.

I just hope that I won't need a surgery. That shit scares me to no end.